Can Introverts Successfully Go Solo?
Posted: 5/2/2019 | May 2nd, 2019
Kristin Addis from Be My Travel Muse writes our regular column on solo woman someone travel. It’s an of import theme I can’t adequately cover, thence I brought inwards an proficient to portion her advice for other women travelers to aid encompass the topics of import in addition to specific to them! In this month’s article, she shows us how solo travelers tin bargain alongside traveling equally an introvert!
Recently, I traveled to Oakland to attend a birthday brunch. I didn’t know anyone likewise the birthday girl. As an introvert, situations where I don’t know anyone are hard for me.
Per usual, I was pretty uncomfortable at first, choosing to stick unopen to the ane someone I knew in addition to to kill fourth dimension past times slow pouring myself a java in addition to eating a fruit plate at tortoise speed.
But, equally fourth dimension passed, I began conversing alongside ane novel person, in addition to thence another, in addition to and thence almost everyone who was there. I met genuinely interesting in addition to friendly people, in addition to past times the terminate of it, I was thence glad that I went in addition to that I stayed.
When I’m at home, though, I tend to pose off going out to do uncomplicated things that involve personal interactions, similar grocery shopping, until the final minute. It tin acquire pretty ridiculous, to hold upward honest.
Yet on the route it’s thence much easier to operate out in addition to explore in addition to specially to run across novel people. Why is that?
In a word: dopamine.
According to professors Daniel Z. Lieberman in addition to Michael E. Long inwards The Molecule of More, dopamine, which plays a major exercise inwards reward-motivated behavior, is what pushes us to elbow grease novel things. In addition, researchers Nico Bunzeck in addition to Emrah Düzel found, through MRI scans, that the vantage middle of our encephalon is stimulated to a greater extent than past times novelty than familiarity.
Therefore, nosotros are hardwired to explore in addition to crave newness. It’s the anticipation of the unknown — in addition to how exciting it could hold upward — that encourages us to buy the farm beyond our comfort zones.
So, spell it tin hold upward hard for introverts to approach people in addition to company exterior to do routine things at home, where everything is familiar, when we’re on the route nosotros receive got dopamine on our side.
This scientific explanation makes sense to me. When I’m traveling in addition to experience a minute of truthful novelty, I experience similar I’m riding a natural high, something to a greater extent than pleasurable than I could ever elbow grease to manufacture. Newness feels good, thence traveling feels good, in addition to beingness an extrovert inwards these moments comes naturally.
So but know that fifty-fifty if yous tend to hold upward shy in addition to uninterested inwards going to random identify parties or fifty-fifty the grocery store at home, yous may uncovering that yous receive got renewed publish energy for coming together people (and feeding yourself) on the road. It helps tremendously that most other people are also feeling that dopamine rush from traveling, thence they’re inwards a to a greater extent than approachable state, too.
I used to joke that at abode inwards Southern California I had no thought how to build novel friends. Do I but walk upward to them at a café in addition to inquire what they similar to do during their costless time?
The truth is, on the road, the response is “yes.” It’s oft that simple. Travelers are past times in addition to large to a greater extent than receptive in addition to friendlier than most of us are likely used to dorsum home. Since we’re all getting dopamine rewards for coming together novel people in addition to exploring novel places, it becomes easier for both parties to hold upward to a greater extent than opened upward on the road.
I used to worry that I’d fright approaching novel people, but I rarely fifty-fifty receive got to start a conversation. If all else fails, “Where are yous from?” is a perfectly acceptable agency to suspension the ice, an piece of cake enquiry that everyone has an response to. I’ve had random bus, hostel, in addition to café conversations that receive got turned into lifelong friendships, in addition to I’ve had others that only served to entertain me for the afternoon; both are of value, in addition to I never know which I powerfulness get.
I dear having no itinerary in addition to no fixed plans. This is ane of the gifts of solo traveling. That said, booking activities ahead of fourth dimension in addition to paying some variety of deposit tin hold upward of aid to introverts who powerfulness otherwise uncovering reasons why they should remain inside. I’m certain my beau introverts recognize the scenario of waking upward the solar daytime of a tour you’ve booked, wishing yous could cancel, but since you’ve already paid, yous terminate upward going in addition to having the best time. Having some pare inwards the game makes us agency to a greater extent than probable to laurels our commitments.
Personally, it’s tempting to cancel fifty-fifty if it’s something fun that I honestly desire to do. If I didn’t prebook things inwards life, I’d never exercise, dive, or explore. It would hold upward too piece of cake to maintain putting them off.
For example, I booked an isle excursion on Nusa Penida in addition to a cooking shape inwards Chiang Mai, in addition to led a grouping hiking tour of Torres del Paine inwards Patagonia that the women participants prepaid for. Many of them tended to hold upward to a greater extent than introverted, but inwards a grouping activity similar that, other solo travelers tend to demo up, which helps everyone to hold upward to a greater extent than social in addition to open.
I’ve also establish that staying inwards an accommodation that is social past times nature, similar a yoga or meditation retreat, or heading to places that are known for an activity I love, similar scuba diving inwards Indonesia, tin build my introversion easier to handle. Knowing that the others in that location volition also hold upward into the activity that I’m into gives us mutual ground, something to beak about, in addition to the activity itself allows us to bond over a calendar week or two. Some of my favorite people are those whom I met on a dive boat or calendar week of deep spiritual practice.
Though all of these are “h4cks” for becoming a to a greater extent than extroverted traveler, nosotros introverts tend to acquire our publish energy from fourth dimension spent alone. At some betoken nosotros bespeak some “me” fourth dimension — in addition to this is why solo go tin hold upward thence wonderful. Part of the beauty of solo go is the fourth dimension that yous acquire to pass alongside yourself. You won’t disappoint anyone past times needing fourth dimension alone, nor volition yous receive got to force anyone away or forcefulness yourself into an activity you’re non actually feeling.
I used to acquire downward on myself if I went a few days without coming together novel people. I’d fret over moments that I felt I’d “wasted” past times reading inwards bed or chilling out for the day. Now I realize how of import those days are too. I acquire to recharge past times taking it piece of cake in addition to practicing self-care. And that’s a large argue why nosotros go too, isn’t it? We desire to process ourselves.
So delight don’t experience bad if you’re traveling in addition to yous but don’t experience similar going out that day, don’t desire to hold upward social, or experience similar getting room service. It’s okay to do those things if it’s what yous experience yous need.
Listening to yourself is the most of import business office of solo traveling, anyway. This is something I’ve learned equally a solo traveler inwards my 30s, in addition to it’s made me savour traveling fifty-fifty more.
Knowing that you’ll receive got dopamine on your side, that yous volition run across people to a greater extent than easily on the road, in addition to that you’ll hold upward able to build real-time decisions close what’s best for you, you’ll hold upward ameliorate off making the trammel in addition to traveling solo.
Conquering Mountains: The Guide to Solo Female Travel
For a consummate A-to-Z take away on solo woman someone travel, cheque out Kristin’s novel book, Conquering Mountains. Besides discussing many of the practical tips of preparing in addition to planning your trip, the majority addresses the fears, safety, in addition to emotional concerns women receive got close traveling alone. It features over 20 interviews alongside other woman someone go writers in addition to travelers. Click hither to larn to a greater extent than close the majority in addition to start reading it today!
Kristin Addis is a solo woman someone go proficient who inspires women to go the globe inwards an authentic in addition to adventurous way. Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 one-time investment banker who sold all of her holding in addition to left California inwards 2012, Kristin has solo traveled the globe for over 4 years, roofing every continent (except for Antarctica, but it’s on her list). There’s almost naught she won’t elbow grease in addition to almost nowhere she won’t explore. You tin uncovering to a greater extent than of her musings at Be My Travel Muse or on Instagram in addition to Facebook.
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